There's a few things I forgot to write about in my previous entry, so I will add them now. Also, I've finally added pictures! The first grouping is from November, the second from December, and the third from January.

C's birthmother, J, has given us a few things through the agency. About a week after she gave birth she wrote two letters. One was to my husband and me, and the other was to C. The letters were very sweet and basically told of her love for her daughter and how she wanted the best for her. She told us that she was glad to be able to give M a big sister. This was meaningful to her since she is raising two daughters that are about three years apart as well.

In addition to the letters, we later received two infant sweaters that J's other two daughters had worn as well as a few photographs of herself and two daughters. I took a photo of C wearing one of the sweaters and sent it along with my two month update.

I find it interesting how J, who didn't want to pick an adoptive family, has given us so much more than M's birthmother who actually chose us to parent her daughter. I wonder how our relationship with J will develop and how the meeting will go. I have started writing a mental list of questions I want to ask her. We wrote down questions when we met M's birthmother, but our new case worker seemed a little clueless when I asked if I should write down questions. She said it was an informal gathering to get to know each other. I think I will write a list but not necessarily take it out during the visit. It's just that this may be the only opportunity for us to ask J questions, and I don't want to forget to ask anything.

One question I definitely want to ask is if her two eldest know or will be told about their sister and her adoption. J could probably hide her pregnancy from her two year old, but I wonder if her five year old knows. I'm assuming that C's half-sisters won't be with her at the meeting (and will be at daycare or school), but maybe I'm wrong.

I'm going to move away from adoption and talk about my cycles since the miscarriage. They have been heavy and irregular ever since. I think I may have ovulated the last cycle. The previous cycle was very different. It was the month Claire came home, and it lasted 44 days! I even took a pregnancy test to see if my hormones were okay. I knew I couldn't be pregnant, but with a newborn in the house I didn't want to have to worry about it. I'm pretty sure that cycle was annovulatory.

My current cycle has been normal so far, and I am beginning to think about pregnancy maybe happening again. Not that I want it to happen now. I don't want two kids 12 months apart! But I can begin to imagine myself having a birth child. I think it would be ideal to have our last child be biological - either our 3rd or 4th child. We still don't know if we want three or four kids. I think I want to try for one more baby, and after that look into toddler or older child adoption. However I know that all my plans mean nothing, because God ultimately is in control. I know he has a great plan for my family.