I got clear indications this morning that I have ovulated. I'm so glad this cycle isn't as confusing as the last one. Now it's back to waiting. Success (pregnancy) doesn't seem to likely for me, since I think I was the most fertile cervical mucus on Sunday, our day off from TTC.

Since I last wrote I have read four books of personal stories about adoption. I went to the library on Thursday night by myself and got two books. One was about a couple who adopted from China, and the other was about a boy who was adopted from Russia. By Saturday I had read both books, so I returned to the library that afternoon and got two more books. One told the story of a couple who adopted through domestic closed adoption and from Colombia. The other book told about a domestic open adoption. By Monday I had read those two books, so I stopped at a different library on my way home from school. They didn't have anything there that I wanted to read, so I'll have to go to the downtown library this weekend and find a book. I think I'll get some adoption books to read while I am traveling to and from Rhode Island next week. Then I can also read books about adoption without my brother knowing and without freaking out my husband.

Here I am trying to get pregnant on my own, looking forward to two or three more IUI's, and all I can think about it adoption. Maybe it's some sort of defense mechanism. I'm expecting to not get pregnant, so it's easier to look ahead beyond the disappointment that seems inevitable. After reading those stories about infertility and adoption (all four couples struggled with infertility), I found that many of them were looking into adoption before they completed their TTC journey. So I see that I'm not alone. And another thing I learned: adoption is another difficult and frustrating journey. All I know is that many challenges lie ahead on this journey of mine.