Things have calmed down for me now that the people I see every day know I'm adopting. Yesterday when we were getting ready to end the school day, my adopted student told me she had seen the adoption video with her parents in it. She asked me if I knew that the little blonde-haired boy was her brother. After that my students started asking me if I was going to bring my baby to school with me every day. They all seemed to think that I would have to, since I couldn't leave the baby home alone! It took a while before they realized that I probably wouldn't be teaching once I have a baby. It really was kinda cute.

When my husband came home today he told me that my pregnant sister-in-law started spotting today, so she was going to go to the doctor and get an ultrasound. Later this evening my mother-in-law called and told my husband that there was no heartbeat (at 10 weeks now) and that the baby likely died two weeks ago. My sister-in-law is taking it pretty hard.

I am sad for my sister-in-law, and I wish that I could truly understand her pain. Unfortunately, I really can't, and probably never will. Secretly, I'm relieved, because this gives me a better chance at having the next baby in the family. My bad side wants to say, "I told you so. You shouldn't have told people so soon." But maybe this is a good thing. Maybe since other people know, she'll have lots of people to comfort her who have gone through the same thing. Maybe my sister-in-law will be more understanding of my feelings. I hope she does find herself pregnant soon, because we don't need anymore miserable women wanting babies in our family.