Wednesday night my friend with the preemie twins called to see how I was doing after surgery. She told me that she purposefully had waited a few days to call because she wasn't sure if I would be up to people calling me. It was thoughtful of her to call me up and I was very grateful.

We now know how much my surgery is costing us. We're going to have to pay half of the cost, which isn't too bad. The funny thing is that when you add what we have to pay for my surgery to what we have paid already for seeing infertility specialists, it costs more than the bill my husband's brother was complaining about earlier this week for the birth of his baby. He has a baby, and I have nothing but an open tube.

Saturday I cleaned the room where my brother will be staying. He's moving in with us, and plans to arrive tomorrow night. I was emptying drawers and ran into some games I had saved from various showers I had attended. One was for the baby shower for the first child of my friend with the preemie twins. We had played a game where you had to answer questions to see how well you knew the future mother. One question was how long she and her husband had been married. When I read the answer I saw that she had been married 4 � years. It made me sad to think that she was pregnant after 4 � years of marriage, and here I am, married the same length of time, wondering if I will ever get pregnant. It seems like more and more often I think that pregancy will never happen. Although it could happen, it seems so unlikely to me.

That night my husband and I were shopping for an outfit for our new niece. We ran into another couple that my husband knows. The husband was a good friend of my brother-in-law, the one who just had the baby. We told the friend about our new niece. Then the friend made a jovial comment to my husband that now it was our turn to have one. My husband took it so well. While I forced a smile, he laughed and said, "In due time." I was proud that he handled it so well. I'm sure he was hurting inside just like I was. I always thought it was women who made comments about having kids, but the last two times I've heard a comment it's been from a guy speaking to my husband. Maybe it's because there's no old friends here for me to run into. I'd probably hear the same comments if I met a friend I hadn't seen in a while.

Today was a family dinner at my in-laws. Of course the new baby became the center of attention. I always have found this very annoying about my husband's family. My family never gets so "entranced" by new babies. They were the same way 3 � years ago when my nephew was born. They might think that I'm wierd because I don't smile and laugh over every little thing. I don't hover over the baby and comment about who she looks like, how much hair she has, how quiet her cry is, how she smells, and the dimple on her cheek. My mother-in-law is the worst. What's even worse is that she repeats the same comments over and over again. After a while it gets to be a little too much for me.

Aside from the annoying things, I really did have a nice time. I even held the baby for a few minutes after dinner. She is very cute, and it was a nice feeling to have a baby in my arms for a while. Oh, I hope someday I'll have a baby of my own.