For being such a short cycle, this period is certainly not light. Forget what I said about not having cramps, because they came soon enough yesterday. What is the most unusual is that I'm getting blood clots. Normally I don't even see them. If I do, there are only one or two tiny ones. This month I've seen dozens of them. I'm thinking that it must be a result of my surgery. Maybe I'll ask the doctor about that tomorrow.

I forgot to mention something from the girls' gathering on Friday. It was time to eat and the girl next to me asked me to hold her three-week old baby girl while she left to find her older son. She was cute and so little. I can't help but want one of my own.

On Monday another baby was born in our church. I think there's one more baby left in this grouping of pregnancies. The next wave of pregnancies at church is already beginning. I found out on Friday that a woman my age is three months pregnant with her fourth child. Maybe I'll get to be pregnant with her. I recently found out that my cousin is pregnant too. I hope it will be my turn some day. This waiting and wondering is driving me crazy right now.

Wednesday I saw a school board member and he told me that they were going to offer me a teaching contract for next year. The time is drawing near for signing my next contract. I think there's no other choice but to sign it. I want to keep my insurance, and I want to save money for infertility treatments and possible adoption. Therefore my working will help me to achieve my goal of being a mother.

I can envision myself teaching one more year, but after that, I can picture myself quitting. By then I will either be pregnant or making plans to adopt. My plans will be much more clearer. Why is it that the future always seems better than the present?