Friday afternoon I called my friend to ask her about how I should mix my Gonal F. She wasn't home, so I re-read the insert in the package and also found a web site from a fertility clinic that said what to do. I figured out that taking a double dosage of Gonal F in one ampule of solution would work fine.

On Saturday my husband and I celebrated Independence Day with friends at one of their homes. I brought along my injection medication and supplies, hidden in my camera bag, so I could take it at the appropriate time. My friends with the preemie twins were there. I spent a long time holding one of the twins. They are over a year old now, but still don't crawl. One thing I found interesting was that they hold things, but don't put them into their mouths. Both boys are wearing glasses.

When the time came for my injection I handed the baby to his father, headed for the bathroom, and told the baby's mother that I was taking my injection. After I came back from the bathroom, I had a nice private talk with the twin's mom who has gone to the same infertility doctor as me. My friend said that she tries not to talk about kids too much or always bring her kids along when we get together because she knows how hard it can be. I assured her that I really am not bothered by her kids, that right now I am more bothered by pregnant women. I don't think I wrote about this, but a few days before the party, she invited us to the party and told me about the pregnancy, in case we didn't already know. She said that she knew how it was like to see people pregnant when you would like to be, but aren't. That was the reason she had told me that our friend is pregnant. She wanted to prepare me ahead of time, so I wouldn't be shocked.

When I was in the middle of telling her about my recent frustration with the RN and resident, another friend joined us who has seen my RE. They both remembered the RN as not a real friendly person. I talked a little about my plans for the future - probably one more IUI, then looking into adoption. We talked about IVF too, and I think it made me even surer that it isn't the thing for me to do.

There were three other women at the party: the pregnant hostess with four boys, a younger woman with three children, and a third, who had a little girl. I had met this third woman once at a Pampered Chef party. I remember her talking about work and not about kids. Now she has a little 20 month-old girl, recently adopted, I discovered. One of my friends told me that the couple was unable to have children, so they decided to adopt. I was very interested as this is the first couple I know in person that are around my age and have adopted.

While we were watching fireworks, I heard her mother saying that she was annoyed when someone at the store made a remark saying she was a cute little Korean girl. The mother said, "Wrong continent, she isn't even Asian." The mother went on to say how her eyes look do look Asian, but still, she couldn't believe that the person said "Korean." Couldn't the person just say she was a cute little girl?

I also heard the mother saying that they have to wait a year after they take her home before they can adopt again. That was when the mothers started talking about the best age difference between children. Even my friend who struggled to have her second (and third) children said that she liked the spacing between her children. The mother with the adopted girl said that she had originally wanted to adopt another child after the year, but now she and her husband were enjoying her so much that they thought they would wait longer.

So, even though there were many young children and a pregnant woman, I had some really pleasant times. Best of all, I didn't have to listen to much talk about babies and pregnancies.

Sunday night I took the Ovidrel shot to trigger ovulation. This morning I went in to have my IUI. I had to wait 20 minutes to get called to the back. I'd never seen the place so busy; neither had the nurse! I was a little disappointed with the count, as it was only 2.4 million. Everything went smoothly, and an hour later I was back home. I heated up some food in the microwave, lay on the sofa, and elevated my hips. Following my friend's advice, II stayed there for two hours, only getting to put my dishes away, go to the bathroom, and stretch. After I ate watched TV and knitted. I discovered a little spotting when I went to the bathroom. The nurse never mentioned this. All she had said was that there was no leaking, so I didn't need sponge inserted. It's not that bad though. I'm sure it will be all gone by tomorrow.

Right now I'm feeling kind of crampy. I've been taking it easy all day. I went to the grocery store this morning before the appointment, so I could rest for the rest of the day. It was a smart move, because for dinner tonight I had an easy meal (soup mix with leftover chicken) to prepare. Emotionally I'm feeling a bit low. I'm not too hopeful. As I told my friend on Saturday: I'm not feeling as bad about it as I used to feel about how things are going. Now I think more about adoption because I feel like I'll probably never get pregnant. I'm already trying to figure out how to bring up the topic of my husband and me adopting to our parents.