On Sunday afternoons I always talk to my parents on the phone. I figured it was about time to tell my mom about our appointment with the fertility specialist. It was difficult for me to tell her about it because I got all choked up and couldn't talk. I finally was able to tell her through my tears, and she was very understanding.

She said that she would be praying for us, and that she hadn't asked me about it because she figured nothing was happening. I told her how it didn't help any that I had found out my sister-in-law is pregnant again. My mom said that it was very difficult for a cousin of mine. After she had one child she was never able to have any more. It was hard for her to watch her sister-in-law next door have five kids without difficulty.

After I talked to my mom I tried to recover and prepare for church and for my husband's family who were coming over after church. I found out that my husband had done some reading from one of the infertility books I had bought.

During church that evening I had a hard time during the singing. It seemed like all the songs had to do with trials and it made my eyes fill with tears as I thought of mine. I did have an easier time listening to the sermon. The minister spoke about visiting and caring for the elderly, sick, hospitalized, ect. It reminded me that I really should put others before myself.

When the sermon was over I went to talk with my mother-in-law. Soon more of my husband's female relatives had joined the circle. It ended up that there were three pregnant women (2 cousins, 1 sister-in-law) and two of my husband's aunts. They were congratulating eachother and talking about foods they could or couldn't eat when they were pregnant. I really felt uncomfortable, but there wasn't anywhere else I could go. I just smiled and laughed along.

The Father's Day celebration at my house went well. Thankfully the conversation didn't center on my sister-in-law having a baby. I went to bed last night feeling happy, and my husband was much more awake and followed nurse's orders. Unfortunately I think I ovulated on Saturday, so I have little hope of getting pregnant this month.

Today I have been able to keep my mind away from those feelings of self-pity, and I thank God for a great group of kids in my VBS class today.