I should be going to bed right now, but I keep thinking about the young woman that was to look at our profile today.

I've been praying for her all day today. I was told her first name, so I've been able to pray using her name, even though I have no knowledge of her appearance besides her race.

I've been waiting and hoping for a phone call since this afternoon. I even took my cordless phone outside when I took my daughter outside to play on her new swing set just in case there was a call.

Did the young woman look at profiles today? What did she think of us? Did she end up choosing a family? When will we find out what happened or didn't happen today?

Everything about this situation is exactly what I would want in our next adoption. All that I know that she wants in an adoptive family is she wants a young couple with a child already. Well we are probably average as far as age is concerned - for adoptive families, that is. We aren't the youngest, but we aren't the oldest either. Hopefully we would be young enough for her.

The only thing about the adoption that could be a cause for concern is the openness. It's not a concern for my husband and me, but it would be a concern for my mother-in-law. But since it's not her child or her adoption, she will just have to deal with it.

After having an adoption that started out semi-open, I had hoped that it would gradually become more open, or at least have open communication. It seems like it has actually become more closed, as we have absolutely no communication from my daughter's birthmother.

I would love to have two-way communication with my children's birth families, and if that involves visits, I can deal with it, especially if the social workers are telling me that she and her family would be great to have in an open relationship.

If we do end up in an adoption that is open with visits my husband will probably put as little stress on the visiting aspect of it to his mother as possible.

So here I am speculating all the things that might happen if we get to adopt this baby, but I don't even know if we will be chosen. I guess it's just that it all sounds really good to me. But if it sounds good to me, it probably sounded good to lots of other waiting families. And knowing my social worker she probably sent all the profiles to the other office - even the cute young couples without children - or the older couples with a couple children. So we may get lost in a pile of profiles. I also don't know how many other branches are sending in their profiles. She may have looked at a dozens of profiles today. Our profile could have gotten lost among all the others. It won't though, if this is the adoption for us.

I need to make a 2 year well-child doctor appointment for my daughter. She turns two a month from today. Her birthday falls 8 days before this baby is due. I don't think I'd want a dr. appointment too close to the baby's due date if we were chosen, so I've decided to wait until we hear back. If we aren't chosen it won't matter when I schedule the doctor visit. If we are chosen, I'm not sure when I'll schedule it.

I hope we find out soon. I almost forgot how tough the waiting can be.