Our social worker called this morning. She said that the birthmother counselor is meeting with a young woman tomorrow whose baby is due August 19. They have just started meeting with her, and didn't have too much information to share with me, just the ages of the birthparents and the amount of support from their families. Even though this potential birthmother isn't ready to choose a family, they want to show her some profiles tomorrow so she can get an idea of what kind of families are available. The social worker doesn't want to show her any profiles of families that wouldn't be interested in the amount of openness that this potential birthmother wants.

I was told the number of visits that this birthmother wants for the first year. It was quite a lot. The social worker told me the number was so high that she thought it was unrealistic.

I decided that she should go ahead and send our profile along with the birthmother counselor tomorrow. I said if after talking to my husband, we changed our mind, I'd call her later today.

My husband wasn't too pleased with the number of visits she requested, but he also agreed to send our profile tomorrow. I think we are both at the point now that we're more scared of not getting a baby than of openness. We are learning to put our trust in God in this whole adoption situation. We're trusting that it will all work out for the best, and that if there are any warning signs, we'll be able to catch them.

So, tomorrow our profile is being unofficially shown. At least I don't have to wait for a "rejection" call. Instead, I can just imagine what life would be like if we did get a baby in mid August. That really would be a perfect time for a baby to be born - after my brother's wedding and our East Coast vacation, and before school starts. My husband wouldn't be busy at work so he could take time off to care for the baby too.

I'll try not to dwell on this situation too much, but I think I'm going to have a hard time forgetting about it.