Today I'm feeling a lot better than I have for the last week or so. I didn't really realize it until I was driving home from school today. When I got into the car I decided to listen to my CD of Handel's Messiah. It was cold and snowing outside, and I was wearing my gloves and my knitted hat inside the car. The snow was coming down as big, puffy flakes, the kind which remind me that spring is coming. While the music played, the snowflakes swirled and whirled, matching the flurry of the notes being sung. It was relaxing and uplifting, and I let my mind wander when I wasn't trying to sing along. I was no longer worried about getting pregnant; I was content about where I was. Maybe I'll be pregnant this month, maybe I won't. But there's no reason to worry about it and to let it bother me.

This morning I had a very high temperature spike. It probably means nothing since I woke up earlier than normal today. I stayed in bed and by the time I took my temperature (at my normal time) I felt much more awake than I normally am at that time. Still, it is kind of nice to see a high temp like that when I'm not sick from a fever.

I'm starting to be on spot alert now. Spotting could appear at any moment. Trips to the bathroom at tend to bring dread at this point in my cycle.

Today my principal/friend is having her HSG. She really is hoping that they will find something wrong so she can have surgery right away. She doesn't want to have to "try" Clomid for five months first before they decide to do surgery. Like me, she is feeling that urgency to become a mother. She feels like she has some sort of problem and wants to have surgery sooner rather than later. It's a difficult situation to be in, because you don't want anything to be wrong with you, but you would feel better if you knew there was something wrong. I think she'll be happy to just have the HSG done. I'll be seeing her tonight at a school fundraising dinner. I probably won't be able to talk with her privately about it though, so I expect I won't know anything about it until Monday. But I'd really, really, really like to know tonight! She's the only person I talk to who is going through infertility testing, so I'd like to compare her experience to mine.