I'm feeling much more relaxed this month than last. My chart is more normal, so I can't make guesses about what is happening. The odds aren't very good that I'm pregnant, so I'm not expecting it either.

There's a family I know that have been caring for foster children. Right now they have this cute 3 year old boy. He was in my classroom once this week during lunch. He is so cute, and the kids all love him. He saw me later in the week and waved at me. It made my heart melt. Sometimes I think it would ease my aching heart if I had a foster child to love and care for. But right now I feel that God is calling me to continue serving Him as a teacher.

I've been reading Christian fiction stories lately. The characters in those stories have suffered so much tragedy. My pain and loss seems so little in comparison. People in the Bible also suffered much tragedy. I can't begin to understand what Job experienced. Yet here I am worried about having a baby. I feel selfish and greedy. I shouldn't need a baby to be fulfilled. Lately I've felt more at peace at the possiblity that God's plan for me will be the best for me, whether it involves a biological child or not.

"Peace, Perfect Peace"

Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin?
The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.

Peace, perfect peace, by thronging duties pressed?
To do the will of Jesus, this is rest.

Peace, perfect peace, with sorrows surging round?
On Jesus� bosom naught but calm is found.

Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away?
In Jesus� keeping we are safe, and they.

Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown?
Jesus we know, and He is on the throne.

Peace, perfect peace, death shadowing us and ours?
Jesus has vanquished death and all its powers.

It is enough: earth�s struggles soon shall cease,
And Jesus call us to Heaven�s perfect peace.