Yesterday was my 29th birthday. The whole day I thought about what I might write, but I realized that I didn't have anything to say about another birthday passing. I don't mind being another year older. All I really want is to be a mother, and I'm not sure how long that will take. So I guess I'll just keep doing as I have been, taking things day by day and month by month. There will be more IUIs this summer. After that, I'll be working, teaching, and doing the same things I've been doing for the last four years. Why can't it be something else. I am soooooo ready for a change.

Sometimes I feel like my life is stagnant, that I'm just doing the same things day after day and year after year. I see the same people, go to the same places, live in the same house, and have the same job. I eat at the same table, sleep in the same bed, and keep my hair the same style. Same, same, same, same, same!!!! I could go on forever about the "sameness" of my life. I'm ready for a drastic change, and I hope it comes soon. I want to be a mother and I feel like I'm ready for the challenges of motherhood.

Today I got some eggwhite cervical mucus, so the fertile time has begun once again. There's one more fertile time until my next IUI cycle. I'm getting very eager for that. The problem is that I'm beginning to get the feeling that the IUIs won't work for me. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but if I don't expect them to work I won't be upset if there is failure.

My pastor's wife asked me how I was doing a few days ago. She caught me in the hall before school started (Her daughter is in my class). I told her that we are waiting for this summer to start treatments again. She thought it was nice that I wouldn't have to deal with all the doctor appointments when school was still in session. She asked about my husband and his diabetes too. He's lost 35 pounds now! I was looking at a picture of my husband and I from last October. Compared to how he looks now, he looked chubby! When I squeeze him now, he feels more boney. It's not bad though; it's just different. The good thing is that he is healthier.

I still have small bit of hope that his sperm count has improved since his blood sugar got under control. It's now been over three months since he was diagnosed. Maybe we have a better chance of conceiving this month. I hope so.