My husband and I are on a baby spending spree! Yesterday around noon I ordered diaper supplies from four different companies. I had preplanned what I wanted to buy long ago, so it wasn't too difficult. Then I picked up the photo prints I ordered and put them in an album to show the birthmother.

In the evening my husband and I went really crazy. We bought a crib, mattress, changing table, tall dresser, car seat, stroller frame, and some bedding! Hubby's going to pick up the furniture this morning from the store. Thnkfully the pieces we wanted are in stock. We also bought a baby present for the little girl that Hubby's cousin had a few days after "our baby" was born. We figured it would be best to get that over with before our baby keeps us too busy.

In the afternoon I picked some flowers for my mother-in-law and visited her for an hour or so. She was so much more excited than I had expected. She had gone shopping the day before for the cousin's baby and already bought stuff for our baby. She said I didn't have to look at it or take it home yet. I said I didn't want to see it yet, but she insisted. She was just too eager to show me. She had bought a little stuffed doll, bibs, and a pink dress with little pink shoes. It was vry cute, but I coudln't take it home with me. It's too soon. I told her I'd leave the stuff there for now, because I don't have a place for them yet.

I tried to stress to her that the baby isn't ours yet, that we may have to wait 4-6 weeks before the birthmom goes to court. She's so excited thought, that she can't help but spoil this potential grandchild.

We've decided that if things go well on Monday that we will begin telling people. The hard part is that we can't say for sure that we are adopting this baby. How can you have a birth announcement in your church bulletin if the baby may not stay with you? That's something we're going to figure out. We'll also have to figure out how to tell people to not buy us any presents yet. Also, I'd like to have a baby book that I can have those who visit the baby sign. But I don't want to buy or use a baby book if the baby may not stay with me. I'll have to think of something for that. Maybe I'll use a separate paper and glue it into the baby book I get later. It's hard to do the normal new baby stuff and adapt it to our situation.

I still need to buy baby clothes. My princiapl/friend told me I should get some girl stuff. I told her I was leaning toward gender neutral stuff because if we lose this baby I can use it for the next one, boy or girl. Maybe I'll get a couple girl things for out in public so people don't have to ask what she is. Baby bottles and formula we'll figure out once we meet the caregiver.

Many people have told me that they cried when they heard our news. My mother-in-law said that when she told my sister-in-law, my sister-in-law started crying and said it was the best news she had heard in a while. Maybe she's not as insensitive as I thought. A couple friends said that they started crying when they read my email. Another friend heard my message about news I had to tell her and she called me right away before she put her groceries away. Also, a friend called at 10 pm when her forgetful husband just remembered I had left a message about news to tell them. It's so great to have such good friends that really care about my journey.

We ran into a couple from church with their 6 year old daughter (actually it's her daughter from a previous marriage) at a restaurant last night. We ended up inviting them to sit with us, and we had a really nice time talking. The weird part was that she was asking me about school starting and I had to act like I'll be teaching this year. I really wanted to say that we may be getting a baby instead, and that the school may be looking for a teacher very soon. They aren't close enough friends to be in on our little secret.

There's not much more to say, just that Hubby and I will probably talk about names soon. He's been looking at my baby name book, and I don't want to discuss my opinions with him until he has some of his own ideas.

I'm up early for the second day in a row. There's so much to think about when I wake up that I can't even sleep in anymore. I think those days of sleeping in may be about over.

It was a month ago today that we first heard about "our baby." Little did I know how things would be a month later.