I'm back! I had a wonderful vacation. The first part was the best part, because I was so busy with Christmas that I didn't even have time to think about TTC. Our family's Christmas celebration had no pregnant women to distract me. During the second part of vacation I thought about TTC often. I knew it was about time for the spotting to begin if it was going to come.

On Sunday night we were at my brother's church. They had a list of prayer requests. One of the requests was for the two pregnant women of the church. However, I was very impressed that included in the request was one that said, "For those who deisire to have children." My pastor occasionally prays for the pregnant women of the church (maybe twice a year), but he has never prayed for those who desire to have children. This strikes me as funny because when he was first married he was told that he and his wife couldn't have children. They amazed the doctors and had four children! You would think that of all people, HE would remember what it is like to deal with infertility and would consider them in his prayers. Whenever he prays for people with difficulties that others don't know about or those undergoing treatments, I figure that he's praying for my husband and I

Monday I went to visit an old school friend of mine. She now lives in Chile and was visiting her parents, just like me. I had a wonderful time visiting with her and hearing about life in Chile. Sadly, when I got back to my parents, my spirits quickly fell. I found out that I had begun to spot. I was just beginning to feel hopeful too. What a let-down.

While I was visiting my parents, I took me temps a few times. I didn't record them because I always slept in and didn't take my temp until a couple hours after I originally woke. I took my temp this morning hoping to find out if my period is coming today or tommorrow. But because I'm still stuck in a time zone three hours away and I slept in this morning, I have no idea whether the temp is above or below coverline! I'm thinking that 98.1 that I wrote down is pretty accurate, so I'm not expecting my period to start until tomorrow.

Now that I am pretty much sure that this IUI cycle is a failure, I know my husband and I will be going to the RE again for our appointment on Monday. I hope that Monday becomes what I want it to be. I would like it to help me find out if we will be trying more treatments or if we will be stopping all treatment.

If we continue treatment, it probably wouldn't happen until this summer. My husband will begin his busy season at the greenhouses soon, and I'm sick of having to miss school for doctor's appointments. Also, my brother is thinking about moving in with us for a few months in February. It would be hard to do treatments with him being around. I really don't want him to know about it.

If we decide to end all treatment, we could start thinking seriously about adoption. We probably also wouldn't be able to do much about it until the summer, but at least I could start reading and researching it even if we didn't meet with the agency yet.

So that's where I am. I'm almost at the top of the hill. When I get to the top, I'll be able to see all the options and know where I can go. And with God's help, my husband and I will know which path is the one we ought to take. It's time to start praying.