This morning I spoke to the nurse practitioner at my RE's office, and she told me the results of my husband's recent semen analysis.

They were worse than I had hoped:

Count - 3.6 million per mL (>20 is normal)
Motility - 32% (>50% is normal)
Morphology - 2% (>12% is normal)

Here are the results from the previous analysis:

Count - 15.8 million per mL
Motility - 50%
Morphology - normal

The nurse told me that I can get pregnant, but it would take more drastic means. She said to keep my HSG appointment. Then she asked if I wanted to be notified if an appointment with the doctor was cancelled so we could see him earlier than August 11. Since we will be on vacation I told her that wouldn't be necessary.

When my husband came home for lunch I told him the news. He seemed just as upset I as was. We talked a bit about what options the doctor might give us and what we would be willing to do.

I think that IUI may still be an option, although I realize that our chances may not be good with the procedure. We both agree that we should try it.

If an IUI doesn't work it seems that we may be given the option of IVF, GIFT or ZIFT. I think that IVF and ZIFT would not be something we would want to do since they could involve freezing embryos, something that would go against our morals. GIFT might be an option because the eggs and sperm are placed in your tubes at the same time and conception takes place there. The financial cost, however, is quite high, and we would still be dealing with the possibility of mulitiples. I did a little research and found that GIFT is usually not used for low sperm counts. So maybe that isn't even an option.

My husband and I would like to adopt if we are unable to have any children of our own. He told me today that it is something that he doesn't want to rush into. He also isn't very interested in international adoption. I said that I would be willing to consider international adoption from Eastern Europe since the children there would look more like us. He seemed to be a bit open to that idea.

I did do a little reading about embryo adoption. There's even a Christian adoption agency that offers that service. That does seem like an interesting option, but I'm pretty sure that my husband wouldn't be too interested in doing something like that.

Yesterday I was so concerned about IUI's and my tubes and I totally forgot about the semen analysis. I really hope that IUI is still an option, because it seems that it may be the only medical intervention that we will feel comfortable trying.

My diary probably seems so depressing lately. I really am happy, and I have wonderful people around to support me. My life doesn't really consist only of wanting to have a baby. There are so many other aspects of my life that are joyful and bring me fulfillment.

It might take me a little time to get over this sad news. As a Christian married woman, people expect me to have children. It's what I'm supposed to do. I feel like people are looking at me thinking, "Isn't she ever going to have a baby?" "Why doesn't she have one yet?" "Does she think of her work as being more important than raising a family?" I'm sure that people aren't doing that too much, but I can't help but feel self-conscious. I just have to remind myself that I am doing my best to be a faithful Christian married woman. I seek God's will daily in my life.

Tomorrow we will be spending the Fourth of July with our friends who have had infertility problems. I haven't had the opportunity to tell them about the infertility specialist and our tests. Maybe I will have an opportunity to tell them tomorrow.