I can't believe it's only been a week since the IUI. It seems like it was ages ago. I often wonder if I will be pregnant this time. I think about when I would be due, when I would quit working, and how long I would wait before I told anyone. I ponder how long I would wait to tell people, who I would tell first, and how I would tell them. I wonder if I would have a boy or a girl, or maybe a set of twins or triplets (it could happen, there were three follicles). Now that my brother is no longer using my future nursery for his computer room, I've started looking at carpet, trying to find the perfect one for my future baby. It's nice to think about these things, knowing that my thoughts may actually turn into plans, and my plans might actually be implemented. It is the most promising of all the cycles we have tried to get pregnant.

Still, I know the results of this cycle of trying me not bring about the results I desire. I think about that too, and I try to prepare myself in case my hopes are dashed once more. Two nights ago I dreamed that my period had started only five days after I ovulated. Now I'm imagining next weekend and how miserable it will be for me to go to a wedding Friday night and a Bible study group party at the lake on Saturday if I do get my period. The wedding won't be so bad, but a gathering with a bunch of married couples with young children may be too much to bear. I'll probably go though. There really isn't much excuse to not go. Unless my cramps are really bad and my flow is heavy, I'll participate and try to act normal.

I think about when I might begin to spot. In most of my other IUI cycles, it started 11 days after the IUI. That would mean Tuesday for this cycle - four days away. I might only have four more days to imagine I might be pregnant. If I'm not, it's back to the RE again.

I did a little research on the whole sperm antibodies thing. We've already had one test that they do for women - and that's the PCT, which we failed. If my mucus is killing the sperm, IUIs can overcome that problem. Other tests look for antibodies in the blood. From what I've read, it isn't proven that antibodies in the blood affect fertility. There's also the test done on the sperm itself. That must be the test the RN was speaking to me about. Apparently antibodies can attach to the head, body, or tail of the sperm and affect motility and the ability of the sperm to penetrate the egg. Those that affect the head (and penetration) are the least common. To bypass these problems, doctors to IUIs or IVF with ICSI or sperm washing. The other option for treatment is to suppress sperm antibodies with steriods (take not that this also affects other antibodies). Steriods hagv brought mixed results and the can cause some serious problems.

Therefore, I see no reason why we should do sperm antibodies tests. Even if they exist for my husband or me, there isn't anything I would do differently than what we already are doing. If this cycle fails to bring a pregnancy, I'm going to call and schedule a screening ultrasound to begin another IUI with injectables cycle. I have enough refills to do one more cycle of medications, and that's what my husband and I decided to do when we had our last consultation with the doctor. I'm not letting an RN tell me what to do. You know, I haven't even told my husband about what the RN said about the sperm antibodies tests. I guess it's because I know those tests really aren't something I want to do. I want my treatments to be over soon. I don't want to keep searching for answers. I have enough answers already. I don't need to know anymore problems that we may have; I just need a baby.