I think I've passed the two year mark since I started this diary. Will I ever be a mom?

Adoption plans are getting pretty dull right now. Before there was always something to prepare or plan for or some event we needed to attend. Now there is no more paperwork and no more places to go. People ask how it's all going, and all we can say is that we are waiting and that we could be chosen by a birthmother at any time. Some people get excited for us when they talk about it. I don't get so excited. It's exciting to think about becoming a parent, but wondering how long I may have to wait doesn't bring exciting thoughts to my mind. My husband says that we've waited so long, that we can stand to wait longer. It's true. Right now waiting for a baby doesn't seem any different than waiting to get pregnant was. However, there is much less stress and no longer are there those monthly cycles of ups and downs to deal with. It's wonderful to be rid of that. Of course I'm still reminded each month that I'm not pregnant, but I don't have to cry about it, or even be sad anymore. I've waited for over four years, so I can wait longer....I guess (I say that rather reluctantly).

I heard more about the couple who went to adoption meetings with us, the one who may adopt a baby of a different race (actually I now know it's biracial). Apparently the mother of the husband was so upset about the baby that she was seriously considering calling the social worker to tell her not to let her son have that baby. I hope she didn't do that. It's none of her business. I'm glad my family isn't weird like that. Actually my mother-in-law might do something like that if we were in such a situation.

I haven't heard from the adoption agency since before my dad died. I thought there might be a message today since I left a message last week that we were back home. I guess there must be no news to tell. I hope our profile gets shown soon. I'm starting to feel a little down about how slow things seem. I try to tell myself that when our profile is shown, we will have a good chance since only those people who fit the birthmother's wants will be shown. And that can't possibly be every waiting family in the office. I really hope that we get a baby before school starts next fall. But you never know what God's plans are.

My principal/friend is going through her first cycle of IUI with injectables. She's doing three cycles (I did two). I think after that the doctor will probably suggest IVF. My friend doesn't want to do IVF, so she will look into adoption instead. She used to say that she might wait a while (a year) before looking into adoption, but just the other day she told me that she thinks she will start the adoption process as soon as she ends fertility treatments because she knows how long the adoption process can take. I'm glad she's not going to wait. She deserves a baby as soon as possible! I hope that these injectable cycles work. She has one bad tube, but nearly always ovulates on the side with the bad tube. I hope she ovulates on the good side this month. I want her to have a baby around the same time I get one.

Our minister came over for a visit on Thursday to see how we were doing after my dad passed away. One nice thing he did at the end was pray for us and the adoption. He prayed that the wait wouldn't be long. It made me feel good that he understands the difficulty of waiting and that it's a request worthy to bring to God.