Today after lunch our social worker called. She had stopped by the office and decided to call me and give me details about the birthmother. She extended her sympathies regarding my dad, and I told her a summary of what had happened.

She said that there are actually two birthmothers looking at profiles next week. One of them won't work for us. She wants a more closed adoption, so she doesn't want someone who lives in the area where we live. That makes sense to me. Too bad for us though.

Our social worker proceeded to tell me about the other birthmother. The situation sounded very good regarding the birthmother's pregnancy and health. She's young and is a Christian. She wants to work towards having an open adoption with identifying information shared (that's what we are the most scared of). She lives in the county southwest of ours.

Although I've always been very hesitant about an open adoption, this situation is one that I can envision actually working out for us. The birthmother specified how often she wants updates, and I can easily agree to those. She also wants ongoing visits, but didn't specify when or how often. I'm comfortable with that. I don't want to make any promises about how often we'll visit eachother in the future, but I am willing to have visits. As for sharing identifying information, our social worker said that it doesn't need to be done right away, that we can have meetings at the agency and build a relationship first.

I wasn't sure how my hubby would react to the openness involved. In my mind I had already decided to show our profile. I hoped he would feel the same way. After my husband had gotten home and taken a shower, I sat down with him and told him about the phone call. I tried to tell him everything the way the social worker had told me, trying to make the openness seem less scary and without attempting to reveal my opinion.

When I was all done my husband said that he thought we should go ahead and show our profile. I told him that I felt the same way. It was such a relief. It was all so much easier than I expected.

I'll probably talk to my mom tomorrow, so I'm going to tell her about this birthmother. I don't think my husband will tell his mom. I think after the last birthmother he's decided that the less she knows, the better. If she knows how open this birthmother wants things, she would freak out. I'll just wait and let my hubby deal with her.

It's kind of nice to envision myself being a mother two months from now. The odds probably aren't that great though, because this birthmother didn't really have anything specific that she wanted in adoptive parents. That means that she will probably be looking at many profiles. I believe though, that if we are the parents meant for her baby, she will pick us, we'll meet her and love her, and things will all come together perfectly.