Saturday I typed up what I call a "potential birthmother profile." The next time my social worker calls with information about a potential birthmother, I can use this outline to write information down quickly. I printed off a copy for my purse (to use at school) and one I put near the telephone. I think it will make my note-taking much easier whenever I get the next call from the social worker.

One of the first things I do each day when I get home from school is look at the answering machine. There was a time when most of the messages left there were from our social worker. Now it is usually not the social worker. It's more often that it's my husband with a message for me about when or if he's coming home for dinner.

I haven't been so happy lately. My students have been terrible. Last week I had to call a parent regarding a offensive drawing a student made. School is no longer relaxing because I always have to be on guard. I have to anticipate problems rather than expect my students to behave properly. There's five and a half weeks of school left. I'll be so glad when school is out.

The weather has been just as terrible. I'd love to get out in my garden, but the weather has been cold the last week and a half. Today it was sleeting outside while my students played kickball. It's spring! My tulips are blooming. Last week it snowed on my tulips!! All I want to do is go outside and pull out some weeds without having to wear a coat. Is that too much to ask?

I've also been disappointed at how slow things have been the last month at the adoption agency. The month of April flew by without any new information. I'm thinking that there must be a waiting families meeting coming up this month, but so far I haven't heard anything. I probably won't go to it, but it will at least mean that something is happening.

I'm not looking forward to Mother's Day coming up next Sunday. Usually my church doesn't make a big deal out of it, but I know that I'll be thinking of it whether it's mentioned or not. We are going over to my in-laws that evening, and I have this terrible fear that my sister-in-law will announce that she is pregnant once again. That would be my worst nightmare right now. Lord, please don't let her tell me she's pregnant. I'm not ready yet.