I had a nice two weeks. Although I can't say I didn't ever think about my desire to have children, I certainly thought about it less. There were a few moments when I had some strong feelings concerning pregnancy and/or adoption.

The first was at my parents' church, where there are currently three pregnant women. The bulletin had a prayer praise for them, and I couldn't help but notice that two of them appeared pregnant. I tried my best to stay away from them. This wasn't hard since I only was acquainted with one of them.

During vacation my period came and went. There really wasn't much hope for anything else but that. The day before we left my mom asked how things were going with the doctor. I told her that what we tried didn't work, and that we weren't doing anything right now, just waiting for vacation to be over. I'm sure I didn't sound too positive when I responded to her inquiry. I certianly did't feel too enthusiastic.

The most positive event occurred when my sister, husband, and I went to the Japanese garden in Seattle. While we were there, a Caucasian woman was there with a little Asian girl. They were looking at the fish swimming in the pond. I assumed that the girl was adopted, but I would never be forward (or should I say rude) enough to ask. Maybe the girl wasn't adopted, but it definitely made me think about myself. It made me wonder what my children will look like.

While I was visiting my parents two birth announcements came in the mail from cousins of mine. I looked at the unique names given to these children, and was happy that they hadn't picked any name that I've been considering. I also thought about what I might want my birth or adoption announcement to look like.

One of these cousins with a new baby was depressed during her pregnancy. Instead of post-partum depression, she had "pre-partum" depression. It's been difficult for me to understand this. I would be overjoyed if I was pregnant and already had a husband, a teaching job, two children, and a nice home. I hope that now that the baby is born, things will improve for her. She has been getting medical help, and it looks like she is improving. Depression runs in both sides of my family, so I wouldn't be surprised if it happens to me some day.

While on vacation I didn't take my temperature once. I brought the thermometer along, but never even removed it from my bag. It's in my bathroom drawer right now. I think I'll stay away from it this entire cycle. I haven't done that since I started temping a couple years ago. It's refreshing! Although I'm not temping, I will still be recording other fertility sign on my charts, so they will still be updated.

When I got home yesterday I got a card from the RE's office saying that my sperm antibodies test result was normal. I also got a bill for it. I was surprised that this blood test cost more than a semen analysis. I wouldn't have gone ahead with it if I had known it cost that much.

Now I'm thinking about what to do next. The local RE's office is closed today, so I'll be calling them tomorrow. I want to see if it's possible to go ahead with a third cycle of injectable drugs. I don't want to see the doctor for another consultation. If he demands that I see him first, I think that I may be finished with infertility treatment altogether. I also need to find a way to get out of my husband's antibodies test. I think I'll be able to avoid it yet.

The best thing about this cycle is that my husband and I are taking a break from TTC. It sure is nice not to deal with doctors and all that other stuff.