We weren't chosen for that baby in June. There wasn't a specific reason why we weren't. The woman had lots of profiles to choose from and was able to find a perfect match in another family.

It's now been over a year that my husband and I have been waiting to adopt our second baby. Things have been slow at the agency this summer and fall. Our profile has only been shown two more times since I last wrote in June. One was in July, while we were on vacation. We didn't find out about it until afterwards. The other one was last month.

It wasn't a situation we would have considered a year ago, but after waiting this long you begin to rethink things. At the time our social worker said that there were more coming, that they were keeping busy. I didn't believe her, especially after she told me there was a baby due in Sept., and I never heard any more about it.

In August we were at an event at our agency and ran into a couple who we saw at the first adoption meeting we went to in Sept., 2004. They adopted a son a couple months older than my daughter, and as we soon discovered, had just adopted a baby boy. Their second adoption had gone quickly, only 5 1/2 months for the whole process. It was hard for me to take since our second adoption was closely approaching the one year mark. I was happy for them, but a little sad for me. I later discovered that their situation is not what I would consider "ideal", and would definitely not be a good fit for our family. So I can be happy knowing that they got a baby perfect for them, and not perfect for us.

So fast forward to Thursday. I called my social worker to tell her that we won't be attending the upcoming Waiting Families meeting. It's about interim care, and our daughter was in interim care, so we already know about it.

The social worker told me that she was going to call me next week (this week now) to arrange a home visit. Our homestudy needs to be updated since it's been a year now. We also have to fill out a couple forms and get medical exam info from our doctor from within the last 12 months. Thankfully we don't have to get lab work done again (tuberculosis and HIV tests). It was very expensive, and our insurance didn't cover it.

We scheduled our home visit for Monday (tomorrow). We really like our case worker, so it will be a lot of fun. There's no need to stress about it.

At the end of our call our case worker told me that our profile has been shown, and that the woman considering families had narrowed it down to two. We are one of the two. (I wanted to put an exclamation point at the end of that sentence, but a period more clearly portrays how it was told to me. It was a statement, with no emotion to it at all. It caught me by surprise, and I didn't even think to ask any questions.)

I was told very little about the whole situation. The woman's case worker had talked to her on Monday, but the woman was still deciding. Her case worker is now on vacation, so it may be a while before they hear any more about what family she has chosen.

So, I basically know nothing, but I can assume a few things. I figure the situation must fit exactly what we have asked for, and not be a maybe, like those we are asked about in advance. The baby must not be born yet, and is likely due in the next month or two. They generally don't encourage the women to choose too early in the pregnancy. It did seem that they wanted her to choose someone soon, so it must not be too long until she is due.

I'm curious now to know more, but at the time I was so shocked about what my case worker said, that I just listened, shell-shocked.

I was also told that another potential birthmother is looking at profiles on the 26th. So, it appears that there really is some action occuring.

With how I've been feeling about how slow the process is taking, this is exactly what I needed.

I also had considered updating our profile book, but wasn't too eager to do it. Our case worker said to wait until January, then we could update it with some holiday pictures. I'm so glad she suggested that; I can get rid of that concern now. I trust that she knows more about what's going on, and that a few outdated photos won't really matter.

The last month or two I have begun putting my thoughts on international adoption, thinking that if we don't adopt in the next year, it may be the best way for me to adopt another child. Things are beginning to look brighter again. So I'll put those thoughts away the rest of this month and pray, pray, pray. Maybe I'll actually have a reason to write here regularly again.