Monday my husband, daughter, and I attended the annual ice cream social at our adoption agency. We spoke to our case worker (but didn't mention the miscarriage). She said that things are getting busier for this fall. I was telling her about my sister-in-law's brother's new baby that he and his wife just adopted. The agency had chosen them since the birthmother didn't want to do it herself. She had just said she wanted a childless couple with college degrees. They picked a family, read the profile to her, and she approved the choice.

My case worker said that they normally have women who want the agency to choose about once a year. She went on to say that they haven't had a situation like that in about three years. I mentioned how that was the summer when my daughter was born. I remembered they had two women that wanted the agency to choose. We were told that if we weren't chosen by the two women choosing, we would probably be chosen by the agency because we were among those who had been waiting the longest.

I was disappointed to hear that the agency hasn't had any situations like this recently. It seemed to me that the benefit of waiting so long would be that the agency might choose us in such a situation. But if it hasn't happened in three years, who knows how long we will have to wait. This is not very encouraging for me, but I'm trying not to let it get me down.

Now on to my current health status:

I had light bleeding for four days after the miscarriage, and spotting the following six days that slowly lessened until it nearly stopped yesterday. I was eager for it to stop. However yesterday afternoon I started getting light cramping and heavier spotting, close to bleeding. Today the cramping and spotting continued. Earlier this week I started taking my basil body temps. My temps still haven't dropped below coverline yet, but they are dropping.

I was curious as to what was going on, and I was glad my recheck with the midwife would be today. My guess was that my period is approaching. There was also the possibility that there was still some tissue remaining in my uterus.

On my way into the medical building for my appointment, the first two people I encountered were pregnant women. In the waiting room there was one pregnant woman and her man, a woman with a young child, and a couple with a young child and a newborn baby. I've never seen children there before, and I found it disturbing for some reason. I got out the scarf I'm knitting for my daughter and concentrated on blocking everyone out.

Thankfully, I was once again the first person called back. I was rescued! The nurse and midwife both thought it would be a good idea to get an ultrasound just to make sure my uterus was empty. While waiting for my ultrasound I was given the option to return to the waiting room or sit in the midwife's office on her couch. I chose her office, and had a nice comfy place to sit alone and knit while watching my own personal TV (there is no TV in the waiting room). The nurses stopped by occasionally and chatted with me about my knitting. It was very nice. If I ever get pregnant again, I am definitely going back to this midwife.

The ultrasound went well. My uterus appears empty, so it is assumed that my hormones are getting themselves in order, and my period is about to start. I saw on the monitor that my endometrial lining was measured to be 8mm, so I guess there is something there to shed for a period. I made an appointment for a month from now for what should be my final midwife visit.

I hope things are as they appear, because it would really be nice to be normal again. I hate spotting.